Slitheen, Cybermen, Daleks, Sontarans, Weeping Angels. Week five is Villain Week.

World War III

Some of the deaths in the previous episode are conveniently forgotten, the Slitheen look different as CGI from costumes, and there's a comedy chase scene.

The Slitheen are one of the few races who don't wear masks half the time for budgetary reasons. They have a few good twists to them, but they are ultimately a bit rubbish.

Rise of the Cybermen

And we've got an alternate universe with alternate versions of characters and a new origin for the Cybermen. Nicely realised, it feels like there's a lot more to this world than is shown on screen. And the Cybermen are suitably monolithic.

Evolution of the Daleks

Bring on the parade of bad science. Magic lightning, random hybrids, so on and so forth. But Daleks in a theatre in the 1930s is pretty cool. Shame that the "Human Dalek" isn't.

The Poison Sky

Picks up all of the elements from the previous story, runs them on to logical conclusions, with a nice good role for Bernard Cribbins. And by throwing Donna on to a spaceship, she becomes critical to the plot - and steps up to the mark admirably.

It's a shame that in later stories she decided she was useless.

Flesh and Stone

It's a game of two halves. We've got the Angels approaching through the forest on the spaceship, we've got Amy walking through the forest with her eyes closed, while all around her people are vanishing, we've got Octavian and his sacrifice. Almost a bottle episode, just a couple of sets.

And then at the end, we have the crack. The none-too-subtle thread running through the first few episodes is addressed, and used, and to some extent dealt with. And it leads back to Amy's home, where she behaves in a not unreasonable manner.

Ranking for Episode 5

1. Flesh and Stone


2. Rise of the Cybermen


3. The Poison Sky


4. Evolution of the Daleks


5. World War III

Only one point separates the first three series. I'm interested to see where this is going.

Aliens of London

Russell T Davies brings us London. Spaceships flying in to the houses of Parliament, UNIT, Television news covering the whole thing. Rose, controversially at the time, tells the Doctor he's so gay, and the monsters are disappointing fart creatures.

The Girl in the Fireplace

Beautiful story, with small character moments, great set pieces of horses jumping through mirrors, good character work throughout, and an almost perfect conclusion. Hard to believe it's the same series as farting Slitheen

Daleks in Manhattan

Clearly, however, this is the same series as Aliens of London. Mind you, it's a great setting, the Daleks are developed a bit, and the design is beautiful. It was rumoured that there were going to be Art Deco Daleks in this. However, all the Daleks in this era were pretty much Deco to begin with. As opposed to now, when they are Playmobil.

The Sontaran Stratagem

It's a "best-of" episode 4 compilation! Threat on contemporary Earth, check. First part of two-part story bringing back an old monster, check. UNIT, check. First trip back to companion's family, check.

It also brings back Martha, once more addressing the issue of what happens to companions when they leave. Martha's arc is an interesting one here, not least because Freema Agyeman spends most of the time playing a clone. Enjoyable, though, and UNIT troops only recruit the handsome ones.

The Time of Angels

Say what you like about Stephen Moffat, he knows how to write episode 4.

Bringing back two of his creations - the much-loved Weeping Angels and the Marmite-flavoured River Song, putting them together in a cinematic story with warrior clergymen, some great misdirection, a bit of Ring and some fantastic dialogue... potentially great.

Not quite as great as The Girl in The Fireplace for me, though. Something about it - the direction, the sound mix, something just made it feel a little less polished.

So, after four stories we have

Ranking for Episode 4

1. The Girl In The Fireplace


2. The Time of Angels


3. The Sontaran Stratagem


4. Daleks in Manhattan


5. Aliens of London

Series 4 and 2 are very close now, with Series 5 edging in to third position. Series 1 is languishing very much in fifth place, and looks unlikely to change

Next week: Week 5 means classic monsters every year. And the Slitheen.

The Unquiet Dead

Historical setting, high-profile guest star, gag about Wales, bit about Christmas. All good. Except it just kind of misses. The Gelth don't come across too well - they're hard to make out, sometimes. And it's trying too hard to evoke The Talons of Weng Chiang, which it can't do well, because it wasn't made in the 1970s.

School Reunion

And here we have a couple of icons, and proof, if proof were needed that this is the same series that Lis Sladen was in in the 1970s. Some great character moments for Billie and Lis, and Mickey realises that he's the metal dog. All of which makes this episode rise above the thinness of the plot.

Gridlock

Heavy on the CGI, reuse of sets and characters, combining the returning Cat People from Season 2 with the Macra from the 1960s. Another slim plot, bookended with the Doctor talking about Gallifrey - and that's what lifts this story.

Planet of the Ood

In their previous outing, the Ood were an innocent race, used by an outside force, and they all died. All of them. That's not really a very good message, perhaps, to send out to kids. Yes, they had red eyes and went mad and stuff, but here they carry their brains around, and they get liberated from slavery. Which they would probably have done without the Doctor being around, actually.

Catherine Tate is very good.

Victory of the Daleks

I want to like this one more. I want to proclaim it as a hidden gem of a story, with the humour of the Daleks offering tea, the fantastic dog fight, the brilliant reveal of new daleks, and the humanity of the characters - even the robots.

It's got great hopes for itself, but it fails.

Part of the problem is that it needs to be a longer story. The Dalek subterfuge needs to be questionable for longer - there needs to be a real feeling that the Doctor is wrong about them. And then there's the reveal of the new range of toys that look like a marketing group sat down and wondered "how can we make these nasty machines of death less threatening and more cuddly?"

Curse of Fenric handled war better, over twenty years ago. And it had Tomek Bork in it.

Ranking for Episode 3

1. School Reunion


2. Gridlock


3. Planet of the Ood


4. The Unquiet Dead


5. Victory of the Daleks

Series Four extends its lead, but Series Two and Three are close behind. Next: Slitheen, Clockwork, Daleks, Sontarans and Angels.

The End of the World

And in episode 2, we get diverse aliens, Britney Spears, Rose befriending a local, being under threat, a swift resolution, the first mentions of the Time War, and a scene about chips.

Almost as important to get episode 2 right as episode 1, and this does pretty damn well.

Tooth and Claw

However, by series 2, things are very different. The Doctor's established. Rose is established. So we have Scotland, a werewolf, martial arts monks that not only exist for no reason, also vanish for no reason, and the beginnings of Rose being smug in time and space. Impressive werewolf, though.

The Shakespeare Code

Perhaps the role of episode 2 is to set up the strengths of the companion, to really bed them in. It didn't really happen in TEotW, as Rose was damsel in distress with Jabe as assistant. Here we've got Martha's feelings for the Doctor in the mix, some witches, some glib cultural references. It's fun. But not on a par with

The Fires of Pompeii

which is possibly the beginning of the end for Tennant's Doctor. Lots of angst about not being able to change history, you see. Reminding us that Donna will challenge him, will ultimately be more human than he is. And sometimes she'll be right.

The Beast Below

We're still establishing a new Doctor and a new companion. He doesn't interfere unless there's a child crying. Amy gets separated, gets nosy because she's a nosy person, and we get the beginnings of mystery about her crack

Ranking for Episode 2

1. The Fires of Pompeii


2. The End of the World


3. The Shakespeare Code


4. The Beast Below


5. Tooth and Claw

Series 4 - Series 5 - Series 1 - Series 3 - Series 2

Doctor Who. Which series is best? There's only one way to find out - rank them, episode by episode.

Rose

Introduction to the brave new world. Had a lot to do. It introduced us to rubber Mickey, won the day with Anti-Plastic and had a great speech or two about the spinning of the world.

New Earth

As the first real full story for David Tennant's Doctor, this had some running to do to catch up. Fortunately, bringing back Cassandra and the Face of Boe gave a confident familiarity. The hospital didn't have a little shop, but the leads were both strong. The resolution was pretty glib - mixing together all the cures in the world making something that can cure anything... but that's kind of the way of these things.

Smith and Jones

The first new companion since the series began, coming in cold. Freema Agyeman's Martha comes across as clever, sensible and grounded. The hospital does have a little shop, and the villain is a little old lady with a straw.

Partners in Crime

I'm waving at fat. Enough said. And the sign-language section.

The Eleventh Hour

Some big shoes to fill - for the first time since 2005, we were seeing a new Doctor and a new companion in the same story. Some good parts - not least the whole post-regeneration eating session. Good start to a season, and full of promise of what is to come...

Overview

Generally speaking, five good strong stories. Hard to rank them, really, but here goes.

1. The Eleventh Hour
2. Partners in Crime
3. New Earth
4. Smith and Jones
5. Rose

I was nervous sitting down to watch Doctor Who on Saturday. In the five years since Russell T Davies brought it back to Saturday nights, it's been fantastic in places, and faintly embarrassing in others - but on the whole it's been pretty damned good.

I had confidence in Moffat as the new show-runner. I had confidence in Matt Smith based on 10 seconds of seeing him in January. But it was the same nervousness I had when watching Rose back in 2005. What if they changed it too much?

I needn't have worried. A confident production, with enough of the old to be familiar and enough of the new to be exciting. And there was lots of the old. The plot had more than a passing resemblance to Smith and Jones, with a good subplot from The Girl In The Fireplace thrown in. There was foreshadowing to the season finale. There were characters and settings that will recur. There were some great one-liners.

But none of that felt in any way stale. It felt fresh, rejuvenated. Not bad for a forty-seven year old.

The "Supernatural-Comedy-Drama" is a curious beast.

Writers and showrunners often find it hard to balance the components - make it too funny and the dramatic elements are ineffective. Make it too dramatic, and the comedy feels forced. In the case of the recent episode of Doctor Who, make it too sentimental and leave hundreds of hungover fanboys scratching their heads. But I digress.

Being Human - season 2, episode 1 - was always going to be an interesting one to watch. The first season tied up a lot of the plotlines from the pilot, leaving the question of "where next?" - and the second season picked up a month later - with some characters having found closure, some having found new wounds. The episode set up new threads for the new season, while at the same time re-establishing the characters and their desire to be "normal" humans.

I'm a big fan of the fantastic, magical-realism style writing. I like worlds which are almost real, which could be happening just around the corner, and which reflect on our own reality in metaphorical ways. Being Human manages to stay just on this side of the line beyond which lies pure escapism. It succeeds because it is less about vampires and werewolves and ghosts, and more about the problems of fitting in to society when you feel slightly out of it. I think most people feel that at some point in their lives.

BBC one, possibly the nation's most popular channel, interrupted its regular programming last night to bring us a half hour bulletin about the weather. It turns out it's been snowing - a fact which might have escaped me had it not been for the fact that it's been bloody freezing for weeks and there's snow outside. Everywhere.

Due to the lack of competition from other channels, I sort of sat through this, mainly trying to work out what it was for.

Officially, the line from the BBC was that they'd had a huge amount of interest in the weather - an extra four hits on their weather site, people wanting to get travel news and so on. All fair enough, because the local situation affects local people. That didn't really square with what was, really, just an extended news programme.

The content was interesting, though. A lot of human interest stories. Praise for the emergency services. Horror stories of people trapped in snow drifts, power cuts, exploding drains, rabbits caught in headlights. This news programme was designed to make you feel better about being at home, on your sofa, watching television, sandwiched between Nigel Slater and Zoe Wanamaker.

It will probably turn out to be the most popular programme of the week - half mogadon, half schadenfreude.

Susan Boyle.

I've just been listening to Susan Boyle singing her Rolling Stones cover "Wild Horses". It's pretty good.

Of course, it was clear that she had talent and would go on to great things. After all, she lost Britain's Got Kittens solely on the grounds that she was going to go on and do really, really big things, so why not vote for the other guys so that they could get five minutes of fame or something.

The British Mainstream Media, bless 'em, accused the producers of the show - and Simon Cowell in particular - of mishandling her, leading to her exhaustion and wee trip to the Priory, but from what I can gather that's a fine accusation with the benefit of hindsight. Regardless, she now clearly has people. They are probably Simon Cowell's people, and they are undoubtedly managing her, and doing damned well.

Her appearance on America's Got Talent included a selection of clips of Britain's Got Kittens and prerecorded interviews - she wasn't interviewed live. She just got out there and sang. As brilliantly as ever.

And she's had a makeover. Just a gentle one - and that's what's clever. Because her unique selling point is that she is both Beauty and the Beast. Make her too pretty and all you have is a pretty singing barrel. She's been softened. Her make-up is understated, her hair softened. Her dress is simple and black, as if to say it's not about me, it's about the music.

Nonetheless, it's about the careful nurturing and management of the fragile person that is Susan Boyle, warts and all.

Reality depresses me. In particular the slice of reality we discover when we put strangers in a house together and point television cameras at them.

Yes, it's fascinating to watch, and to see in microcosm the behaviours that are enacted around us all day. But it's also desperately sad to watch some of these misguided sociopaths defend their manipulations and confrontations by saying that they were just "being themselves" or "keeping it real".

When did honesty and personal integrity become such a good thing? Valued over other virtues such as diplomacy and sacrifice?